NSA4.US

“If you think something, say something”

The National Security Agency/Central Security Service (NSA/CSS) is home to America’s codemakers and codebreakers. We’ve been making and breaking all your dirty little codes since 1952. Bro code, hanky code, the code of conduct, gay-coded villains. You name it, we broke it.

But so-called “US Citizens” have been developing their own secrets (un-sanctioned) faster than we can break them! We’ve tried everything — from email intercepts and metadata mining to warrantless wiretaps — but it’s time we ask for help.

Do Your Part for National Security

No codemaking or codebreaking experience necessary. Simply fill out the forms below, and send me the NSA your secrets directly! All fields are required (by law)*.

Physical Address
Social Media
Interest
Activity
Mother
Personality
Access
or [ redacted ]

Personality Type Indicator (OFFICIAL)

At a party do you:
Are you more:
Is it worse to:
Are you more impressed by:
Are you more drawn toward the:

* God’s law (The Bible)

This is Real, I’m Sorry